remember to:
-chose my words carefully
- write in full sentences
-take care in our spelling and punctuation
-giving our writing a title
-check our work for any mistakes.
title: the special day with my mum and friend.
Thump thump thump as i hear the sound of my feet smashing into the steel ground as i walk up the stairs. but i still don't know where we are. ‘’dad dad’’ i yelled, from a fairage. where are we he didn't reply.
Then as we walk into this please i see this old lady walking out of the changing room wet then from there that insten on woods i knew where we were.’’ dad are we at the pools’’ i groaned.dad replied ‘’yes right we are at the wave pools’’.
Then i saw my best friend called tre campbell not the guy on campbell live not him how old do you think i am.my best friend is only 12 not 31. but that moment i saw him i knew it was going to be a special day.
‘’The reason why yous are here is to see your mum’’ my dad said. me and my two sisters called sharnye and ginnye replied with joy but not so much my dad. but i know why because they always have dermisticks.
So i got ready pretty fast and ran to my best friend and said’’ what are you doing here’’ and he replied ‘’my mum said she was feeling a bit hot so we came here’’. why what are you doing here ‘’come to see my mum’’. i said. then i saw his dad do two bombs and then they went.
Not long after that my mum came and i was pretty happy to see my mum and she brange my little brother and cousin. they stayed for 2 hours and then they went home i was pretty upset
WOW really good story you had there maybe try and put some coma's in it so that you can tell that you want to make it sense and some speech marks to tell that they are talking
ReplyDeletethanks for the comment it means alot
DeleteWow.An amazing story.Nice work Te.Just try to use capitol I as the i.You can add some commas into the gaps.Overall this writing piece is pretty amazing.Welldone!!
ReplyDelete:D
thank you for the comment it means a lot
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